Mustache Mugs

Artist Peter Ibruegger has some pretty sweet coffee mugs. Stacheforge likes them all, but especially appreciates the one in the lower right of this photo.

Newport Breaks Mustache Contest Record

The city of Newport, NH recently set a world record for most participants in a mustache contest. Congratulations, Newport! That's class. The contest itself was won by New London resident Steve Lucas. Nice stache, Lucas!

Joe Frazier, Kenai, AK

Nice 'stache, Joe! That there is the kind of mustache grown to keep Joe's thin-blooded upper lip warm during those cold, Alaskan winters. Even when the nighttime lasts for months at a time, Joe's sweet mouth ornament is sure to bring some sunshine to the land.

Rumor has it that Joe once killed a wolf in the woods using only his bare hands, but he won't say whether or not this lipfur is actually a snip from that wolf's hide. Also not confirmed is whether or not the wolf pictured in the background is that same wolf.

Rumor also has it that Joe's mustache can act as a flotation device on the local Kenai river. Rumor also has it that Joe can spread the wings of his mustache like the majestic bald eagle and soar over the treetops. Rumor also has it that Joe's mustache is the only thing in the universe that can defeat Chuck Norris in a kickfight.

Bring. Back. The. 'Stache.

I’ll say it– I’m a fan of the mustache. Sadly, we saw the ‘stache fall largely by the wayside over the past few decades as pretty boys seemed fixated on primping, grooming, moisturizing, metrosexualizing, etc. in a vain and sissy attempt to one-up the ladies in the looks department. Let the ladies be pretty. Let the men be men. I say — Bring. Back. The. ‘Stache.

Marshall Begel, Madison WI

Nice stache, Marshall! This is a chic look, an homage to the traditional trucker, but with a subtle curve and thickening at the bottom, shaped like the teardrops of men who wish they had such a sweet mustache. Marshall is clearly dedicated to this manly facial feature: it is well defined on an otherwise recently shorn face, and carefully trimmed into shape.

Stacheforge also approves of Marshall's lower lip hair -- a 'shadow' or 'tickler' -- because it is not a beard; a beard grows on the chin; a tickler grows on the lower lip.

Movember Aftermath: Jason Soza, Juneau, Alaska

Nice stache, Jason! A good brown mustache is the perfect finishing touch for this outfit. Notice how the blue hat band goes with the sharp blue shirt, the sharp blue shirt brings out the blue in the jacket, the blue in the jacket is woven into the brown of the jacket, and the brown of the jacket matches the rich color of that deep, brunette lipfur. Stacheforge also fully supports the 'tickler' under the bottom lip, which is not a beard, and thus does not disqualify Jason from being on Stacheforge. The sideburns, finally, are exactly the right length to complete the overall look. Just imagine this photograph without Jason's mouthwarmer -- what a shame that would be!

Movember Aftermath: The Generalissimo

This stringy, pathetic excuse for a mustache is the month-long growth effort by Stacheforge editor Nicholas Keene. Typically, pictures posted to Stacheforge come with a complimentary description and genuine encouragement, but in this case none of that is deserved. This disgusting mustache is a disgrace, a sad shadow of the former glory of The General. Grown as a kind of joke, and a kind of experiment, the result would have to be described as an unfunny joke, or a failed experiment, like homeopathy or reflexology. Nicholas reportedly is in three-party negotiations with his wife and his upper lip as to what variety of mustache will appear next, but Stacheforge readers can all rest easy knowing the next mustache won't look anything like this.