Nice 'stache, Joe! That there is the kind of mustache grown to keep Joe's thin-blooded upper lip warm during those cold, Alaskan winters. Even when the nighttime lasts for months at a time, Joe's sweet mouth ornament is sure to bring some sunshine to the land.
Rumor has it that Joe once killed a wolf in the woods using only his bare hands, but he won't say whether or not this lipfur is actually a snip from that wolf's hide. Also not confirmed is whether or not the wolf pictured in the background is that same wolf.
Rumor also has it that Joe's mustache can act as a flotation device on the local Kenai river. Rumor also has it that Joe can spread the wings of his mustache like the majestic bald eagle and soar over the treetops. Rumor also has it that Joe's mustache is the only thing in the universe that can defeat Chuck Norris in a kickfight.
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