Chicago: America's Most Mustache-Friendly City

The American Mustache Institute has named Chicago as America's most mustache-friendly city.

World Beard & Mustache Championships

On Stacheforge, there are no beards allowed! That is why we are NOT celebrating the recent World Beard & Mustache Championships: even though mustaches are part of the contest, they are explicitly subordinate to beards, and the organization's URL (www.worldbeardchampionships.com) doesn't even include the "and mustache" part.

There are a lot of mustache categories, however, including

• Natural Mustache
• English Mustache
• Hungarian Mustache
• Dali Mustache
• Imperial Mustache
• Freestyle Mustache
  

Please note that Stacheforge does not typically spell "mustache" with the old-world "o" plugged unceremoniously into the middle of it, but we don't object when others do. And finally, here is one awesome picture of a truly great styled mustache:

Mustache Sunglasses

Stacheforge wants to make its readers aware of these sweet sunglasses featuring a built-in fake mustache.

A fake mustache is NEVER a substitute for a real one, but for people who can't grow a proper mouthhat, these glasses will allow you to show proper respect for the mustachioed.

American Mustache Institute Interview With Aaron Rogers

Stacheforge reader Ben Palmer sent us a link to a CBS Sports article discussing the on-again-off-again presence of lipfur on Superbowl-winning quarterback Aaron Rogers. The American Mustache Institute did an interview with Rogers, where he acknowledges the realization of his lifelong goal to be a mustachioed American:

David Tatro, Madison, WI

Nice stache, David! Wow, check out that heavyweight-championship-contender mouthdrape! These two pictures were taken at different times, though incredibly in the same location, facing the same wall. This allows us fervent Stacheforge readers to appreciate the subtle evolution of a mustache over its lifetime. The quiet robustness of the earlier stache matures into the longer and less cohesive version of the later stache. Best of all, each of these photographs feature a picture of alopecia-style, evil bizarro David in the photograph over his shoulder, locked away safely like General Zod trapped in the Phantom Zone.

Goodness gracious, that mouth-mane looks like it is ready to step off of his face and street-fight a pair of hoodlums. In the second picture, it looks like he just ate a donut dusted with the white ashes of his mortal enemies, who vaporized under the intensity of that manly lipcover. Perhaps David had a nasty accident involving peroxide, or else got in an accident like that kid from that song from the 90s.

Stacheforge is very sad to inform its readers, however, that this telling of the life story of a worthy lip-hood is also a eulogy, because David reports that he shaved off that bad boy after taking the second photograph. As we've said before, Stacheforge supports the right of all mustaches to live proudly upon their caretaker's lips, and we cannot condone the destruction of any mustache whatsoever. Nevertheless, this was a good mustache which lived a good life, even if it was -- ahem -- cut short.

Chris Rinard, Anchorage, Alaska

Nice Stache, Chris! Up there in Alaska, there's the breed of man who doesn't need a full beard to fight off the cold, blustry winter storms. For this kind of man, one only needs a sweet strip of liphair which dangles menacingly over each mouth-corner like one of those spaceships from Tron. Stacheforge readers might ask themselves why Chris would need sunglasses in a land with so little sunlight that they write songs about it, and the answer is that Chris needs to shade his eyes from the perpetual glow of that incredible facial adornment.

Stacheforge advises Chris to keep allowing the 'stache to have lots of sunlight, which will help it grow.

Girls Have Mustaches, Too

"I’d always figured that by finding a girl with her original mustache that I’d be finding some re-creation of the original woman, like meeting Eve, although probably a lot more enriching than that. Especially since, according to the fossil record, when Eve wasn’t basking in the magnificence of God’s Creation she was probably eating bugs out of old logs with a stick. Even so, finding a girl with a mustache would be finding a girl more likely to make the sort of bad decisions that favored the ruddier and more salacious pleasures of life, like nose-picking and peeing at the side of the road."

Ladies, if you have a sweet 'stache, send us a picture at submit@stacheforge.com.