Brett Baddorf, Madison, WI

Nice stache, Brett! That incredible mustache is a true facial feature. It looks like a whiskery inner-tube is wrapped around Brett's face. It looks like the noseband of a horse bridle. It's the kind of mustache that would sneak out at night, attack and kill other mustaches, then eat them to gain their power. Note the jealousy evident in the face of the clean-shaven unnamed gentleman in this picture.